I was originally very hesitant to put this blog out for public view. I wanted to be certain it was the best I could present. After all, I have worked with young people as a school counselor for many years. You are a most important audience to me.

One of the most important and fun lessons I taught in the schools was for 4th graders and older. I would write two headings on the white board: "Boys" and "Girls". The "Boys" heading would always be in blue and the "Girls" heading would always be in red or pink. Then I would ask the class members to respond to the question   "What games do you like to play?" Students would raise their hands and I would write on the board the name of the game. If the person responding was a girl, I would write the question in red or pink under the heading "Girls". If the respondent was a boy, I would then write the name of that person's game in blue under the heading "Boys".

We would usually get a reasonably long list of games under both headings. And, guess what, many of the same team sports would appear under both headings!! Football, basketball, baseball and soccer were on both lists - even if I had to ask all the girls who like to play football to please raise their hands. There would always be plenty of girls who liked to play those games.

So what was the point of this lesson? Gender equity. The point of the lesson was to release children from preconceived notions about which games were appropriate for boys and which were appropriate for girls and to open minds to the realities that both boys and girls like to play the same sports. As the years progressed I saw several girls who stood out as very aggressive football and baseball players. I was amazed at this. I had never realized that these young ladies were able to play better than a lot of the boys. I had never seen this before.

Now there were, of course, some of the boys who resented this. They also resented when I asked the girls what it was that boys do that is like playing with dolls (action figures).

I really don't know whether the lessons had any positive effect on the kids. I just know that these lessons were based on research, and that they always got everyone thinking about the issues involved in gender equity.

When I went out to the playground, I still saw the same things happening - with only some exceptions.

So I ask the reader this question, "Do you feel valued in our society? Do you feel respected in your community? How do you feel about your school with regard to these issues? Have you done anything to help someone else feel accepted and respected by all others?" These questions are for boys as well as for girls.

We all need to feel valued by others. Let's make certain we are willing to give that respect and value to all those around us. And if you don't feel valued, I have a suggestion. Try doing something for someone else - something that will bring a little bit of happiness to another person you know. And always believe in yourself - that you are lovable and capable. This is true regardless of which games you like to play.

Happy Valentines Day, my young friends!!!